anxiety · life · lifestyle · mental illness

Intrusive Monday

download-3Oh my, it is Monday already.

The weekend sure did fly by.
I did not get a good nights sleep on either nights so I am drinking coffee like there is no tomorrow, I am sure I will be buzzing by the end of the day.

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I had a pretty good weekend.

Friday night I enjoyed a cosy night in with my family, my son and I counted his pocket money and he had a surprising £70.00. He is such a good little saver, so on Saturday he treated himself to new Pokemon games and DVDs.

Saturday evening I went to my friends 30th birthday party. It was 80’s theme and I wore a wig which was a mix between George Micheal and Madonna. It was a good evening and I had a good chat with a friend about Anxiety, he did not know I had Anxiety and I did not know he was a sufferer too. Its refreshing to know again I am not the only one.

And Sunday I had cuddles with my dear friends new born baby boy Zachary, a tiny 6lbs 1oz and absolutely gorgeous.

However this weekend my mind has gone on overtime!

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Intrusive bloody thoughts.  Out of the blue, random thoughts that pop into my head at anytime and any place and feed my anxiety. I immediately allow these thoughts to have importance and wish I could have the power to let them go.

I begin my rituals, my checks, and I find myself seeking reassurance from people and of course google search engine.

Its always what if, what if, WHAT IF?!

I am worrying about things that do not exist, and they are always negative. Why can’t they be a bundle of positives instead?
Are these thoughts logical, are they really going to happen?
The more attention I give them the more they take over.

I am trying meditation but struggling to switch off, I need to persevere but it is proving to be difficult.
If any one has any meditation tips please let me know.

Jo

 

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2 thoughts on “Intrusive Monday

  1. The same thing happens to me. My mind just runs around like a chicken with its head cut off randomly sometimes. When I start worrying about things I don’t ignore it I think about it and I remind myself even if it was going to happen, it would happen whether I worry about it or not. I am working on being mindful and living in the present moment. Sometimes it is tough but every second you spend in the past or the future is time in the present that you lose. I have a reminder set on my phone for every 3 hours throughout the day to stop and focus on deep breathing for 1 minute. I have been taught to try and focus on the feeling of the air leaving your body and to stop your mind when it try’s to go somewhere else and bring it back to your breathe. 1 minute isn’t too hard and it is refreshing. And at least you had a good weekend 😊 Take it as it comes! You’re not alone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you. Sometimes can feel lonely but brings some sort of comfort to me knowing I am not the only one.
      I have never thought of it like that, I am constantly worrying about the future and things from the past that I should be living in the moment. I think I will try that every 3 hours, I did buy a mindful book but there was so much to it I couldn’t take it all in. Will try the deep breathing 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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