anxiety · Mental Health · mental illness · panic attacks

My F-ing Anxiety ..

Today I am having a bad anxiety day.

I walk around with this evil presence everyday, my uncontrollable anxiety that clings to me all day, everyday.

I am getting myself worked up because its muggy and warm today, well in my office it is. So it is making me feel hot and slightly dizzy and because of this I am convincing myself I am coming down with some sort of bug.
I am concentrating on the sensation so much that I am now starting to feel sick.

From the outside I appear relatively ‘normal’ colleagues coming in and out of my office and don’t notice that inside I am fighting a battle. t feels like a losing battle.
I have not had a full on panic attack yet, it is like the anxiety is just niggling at me and sucking the life out of me.

I am going round in circles, waiting for this ordeal to be over. I have tried steady breathing, concentrating on my work and distracting myself but it is not going away today.

I have tried so much. Medication, research, books! Why is it never going away?

I am so fed up, I do have my good days and then my anxiety strikes, for no good reason I cannot see what has triggered this today!

My heart rate it up, I am dizzy and I feel disorientated.
I am losing all sense and feel horribly sick, mentally I feel I am losing my mind.

I feel like going home but I can’t let the anxiety win.

Jo

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2 thoughts on “My F-ing Anxiety ..

  1. I know exactly how you feel. It’s such an awful feeling. Wanting to leave work so bad but knowing it’s not the answer because you have to keep fighting and keep working and it will be harder to go back to work if you give into your anxiety! I’m sorry you struggle too. Stay strong 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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