anxiety · life · love · parenting · positive

My Motivation

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After I had my son my anxiety grew with him.

Any first time mum will tell you it is bloody scary, anxiety or no anxiety.
I constantly worry, it’s like everything is dangerous, I get scenarios pop into my head and it is upsetting.
This all comes with love.
At school last week he got star of the week again, I had the headteacher and his teacher come to me to tell me how kind he is and how he helps other children in his class. I am so proud.

I love the way he comforts me and tells me how much he loves me. I admire his heart.
Saturday night he had got upset about something he was worrying about, something minor but huge to him. So I snuggled him up with me in my room and we fell asleep, in the morning he told me it was the best sleep ever but quickly scolded me for laying on his teddy (oops).

I love my son with all my heart, it’s painful how much I do.
He is my best friend, my inspiration, my motivation, greatest gift, my world.

My content baby, my clumsy toddler, my cheeky preschooler has grown into kind, confident, determined 6 year old.

We have great fun together, we have our own little jokes and an incredible bond.
We have our simple but special moments together.
We’ve always enjoyed going for longs walks in the woods and exploring talking about nature and how important it is.
He’s so good, for example he would never litter as he says “it hurts the animals and animals are our friends, even bugs” He loves animals and shows such affection towards them.

Weekends are the best, if we are not out on an adventure, we are snuggled up watching a film, or building Lego or playing catch in the garden .On rainy days we play on the Xbox together normally a Lego video game or Minecraft.

Saturday evenings are my favourite, we have a fish and chip tea, watch you’ve been framed and then catchphrase, what a laugh we have.

Sunday mornings we go around the car boots, we are bargain hunters. He loves finding toys to buy. Sometimes we don’t always make the car boot, especially if it’s raining.
We instead have breakfast bed with lots of snuggles and a good old chat, he always comes in to my bedroom in the morning with a cup of water, bless him.

Most weekends we go swimming at the local pool, my determined boy has mastered swimming with no lessons. He has no fear, diving in the deep end and swimming across to me.
He really does have no fear, he will try anything. He has this great confidence that I envy.

As we are a pair of gamers, he has finally got into Pokemon, it is great to watch the shows again but this time with him. And of course now his Christmas list is filled with Pokemon games and figures.

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I’m a protective Mum.
When kids are mean to him I won’t hesitate in telling them where to go. Yes I’m that embarrassing mum.
It makes me so cross though, when we are out my son always makes a friend he just wants to play and have fun with other children. So why are other kids so mean for no reason?
I had taken him to a charity event with me and we were at the play area, some older children squared up to him and said “come on then” Seriously?
Well I stormed over there and went DON’T YOU TOUCH HIM!! They soon ran off.

He tells me his secrets and his worries.
There is a girl in his class that he wants to “marry” he doesn’t tell anymore but me.
But apparently they have “broke apart” as he puts it.

One evening he got so upset as he was worried I was going to die.
He had said “I don’t want you to go before me as heaven is a big place, like a city and I won’t be able to find you. Will you wait at the gate for me?”
Well I cried so much, these thoughts in my boys head (he’s at the age where he’s starting to understand death) and how he was so upset. It broke me.
I can’t express how much I love him.

I’m so proud of him everyday, he makes me laugh all the time, and he gives the best hugs.
He has such a warm heart…

Son: “You’re the best mum I could ever have” with tears in his eyes

Me: “why are you upset?”

Son: “these are happy tears.”

I just wanted to share.

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