Well I am back on my medication now “yay”. I really do not know if it is a good thing or not anymore but I am feeling much much better, I do not feel like I am drowning anymore.
I read a post recently by blogger What Katie Did Next, and thought it was really inspiring. Katie had written about how she sees anxiety as her best friend and explains that she views her “flaws” as a wonderful gift, anxiety allows her to feel deeply, empathise and how anxiety is her invisible force that pushes her to excel and shine in her proudest moments.
And it got me thinking, what a great way of seeing anxiety.
16 years of the illness and I am still learning new things about it and seeing it differently each year, both good and bad.
Katie also mentions how anxiety is not a weakness it is am invisible strength.
I cannot argue with that. Although sometimes we can feel defeated, we still carry on everyday. We do not always let the anxiety win.
I sat down last night and really thought into this, I have to be I always am so negative surrounding my anxiety and it does not help me.
Not everyone has anxiety, well we all feel anxious but not everyone suffers from it on a daily basis. But the whole world has their ups and downs, is it fair that I blame mine on anxiety?
Katie’s anxiety drives her to compete and so does mine, I am always pushing myself to succeed, aren’t we all?
Was anxiety sent to challenge me?
Everyday is a challenge, but I get through it, I am here, alive and I get up the everyday, get out the house and repeat.
Is my anxiety being my friend or my enemy?
Is it trying to keep me aware of dangers around me or is it creating it?
It is like I have my own yellow traffic light in my head that alerts me to proceed life with caution. Even if it is all the time, I am safe and well.
Is it really such a bad thing that I avoid certain situations, or go to the doctors when I feel something isn’t right? Is my anxiety keeping me safe?
Anxiety has sculpted me into who i am. It is not who i am but makes me, well me.
I never thought I would see any positive side to my anxiety, and I am so glad I read Katie’s blog, it really has given me some perspective.
Anxiety can be my worst enemy but it is nice to be open to some positives, I have so much to be thankful for and should really concentrate on my strengths and positives.
I know I still have bad moments to come with anxiety but least now I some positives to concentrate on.
Hopefully this will help after a bad couple of weeks of panic attacks and extreme anxiety.